" This post is for Write Tribe ...Day 6 ...55 Fiction "
She stormed out of the room blabbering everything that crossed her mind
They don’t bother
about me, they don’t think about me ,they can’t even understand what I want
You know what Mom …you just don’t care
Ya…we don’t ….that’s
why we picked you up from those thorny bushes decades ago... she mumbled to herself
NIcely put! liked the slight twist in the end!
ReplyDeleteOoopss.. the mother reveals?? Oh no..
ReplyDeleteBeautiful.I liked the turn at the end
ReplyDeleteAah! Did the truth shatter her??
ReplyDeleteI hope the mom didn't say it out loud. Loved the ending. Nice plot.
ReplyDeleteWas it truth or one of those things my mom would say to tease me every once in a while?
ReplyDeleteI hope the last sentence was inside the mother's mind.
ReplyDeleteLoved the twist in the end. It's so tough for a mother to hear such sharp words from her child .
ReplyDeleteGud one, I hope the parents didn't mention it right on her face. We people say things in anger and mood swings but later we realize we indeed hurt our parents. I know how horrible it is when I hurt my parents because later I feel more hurt as I repent :(
ReplyDeleteExactly. Sometimes, people don't love us the way we want them to.
ReplyDeleteOhho... hope the mother did not tell her like this. Words can be very sharp
ReplyDeleteOuch.. was that the truth slipping out?
ReplyDeleteOh no! but she can alter her statement later...a mother has power to do anything....
ReplyDeleteThank you every one for the valuable comments and reactions . After seeing every one's anxiety whether the mother said it aloud or not and did that break the daughter's heart...I decided to have a slight change in the last line . I guess now that would be fine . Well this was my first attempt at 55 word fiction ...so may be there did exist some flaws and eventually I will learn with time ....
ReplyDeleteAnd thank you again for such an overwhelming support :)
Somehow things normally done by kids due to age are given more magnitude when done by the adopted ones right ?
ReplyDeleteSensitive story. I like the twist in the end:)
ReplyDeleteNoo! I think anger brings that out in us* sigh*
ReplyDeleteI felt sad after reading this
Sigh.,, it's always the same, isn't it? Guess the teenager years aren't too different for this generation. And ooh, nice twist ;)
ReplyDeleteThat was an ironic little twist. If she didn't care she wouldn't have picked her in the first place! ♥
ReplyDeleteHey Kathy ...I guess you exactly understood what I wanted to express ....I feel relieved :):)
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