Thursday, 9 April 2015

# 8 Honesty....

What I saw the next moment soaked up my blood. I felt as if lightening struck me. I had always heard of or read about such circumstances. My body became numb. It just stopped getting any sensation. The crowd. The noise. The environment. Everybody vanished out of my sight. My eyes searched for my mom. She was sitting in the left corner of the room. Bundled up like an old woman. Suddenly she looked double her age. Hair undone. Face swollen. Mouth tight lipped. 

Putting a single step at once I slowly moved towards her. Sat near her and watched her face. It lacked the radiance she spreads around in our home and our lives. Her eyes were closed. Palms crossed together and rested on her knees. She was sitting on the ground. On the bare ground. Something she usually didn’t allow any body to do. Not even the servants. 
“Mom” I called out. She didn’t reply. “Mom” I called out again. She didn’t respond. “Mom” I said and shook her a bit, to which she burst out like a little girl. It stopped, only when her eyes were too tired for shedding tears any more. I didn’t cry. Not a single drop. May be I was too shocked to cry. A list of responsibilities awaited me that didn’t even give me a moment to mourn. From giving shoulder to my father’s body,  to answering the media’s random questions. I had to handle it all. My mom had to be admitted to the hospital owing to dehydration. “Anwesha” my kid sister was too small to understand anything. She just hugged me and cried because mom was also crying for something. 

With a shaved head I went to receive my board exam results. This time the result sheet wasn’t successful in kindling the old happiness inside me. Everybody showed sympathy and spoke too gently with me. Though I didn’t like that but I couldn’t complain either. That is how the society behaves with a young boy who loses his father suddenly. But the same society doesn’t come to the rescue of an honest official who strives day and night for them. And one day even leaves his beloved for their cause. 

My dad had gone for a morning walk that day. But little did he know that it would be his final walk. He went out to breath fresh air. Instead breathed his last. Some said it was an accident. Others said it was a homicide. The govt said whatever it was the inquiry committee will find it out.
I wasn’t bothered about what it was. As nothing would bring my father back. Nothing would bring a good human being back. And nothing would bring an honest officer back. I just knew one thing. Honesty is the best policy. And that best policy gifted me the worst gift ever. A gift that snatched away my innocence. My dreams. My plans. My happiness. My security. And my beloved dad. 


Linking the post with A-Z Challenge 

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  1. Wow, that was so heart-wrenching! That horrible loss of innocence.

    Good luck with the 2015 A to Z Challenge!
    A to Z Co-Host S. L. Hennessy

  2. A loss like this is terrible and difficult to cope up with.

  3. Such a terrible loss and you wrote it so well. I must admit though that the background of your blog is very distracting and makes reading very difficult :( Can you see if you can change it to a darker colour?

    1. thank you for the comment. And sorry for the inconvenience. I have changed the colour to a darker one with a lighter background as suggested. Hope this works fine :)

  4. Very moving post. I'm amazed and thankful people can share such experiences. It has to be difficult but healing at the same time.

    Stephen Tremp
    A to Z Co-host
    Twitter: @StephenTremp

  5. So beautifully penned the heart wrenching story. Such a loss is unbearable. BTW, love the new look of your blog, Sushree. :)

  6. This post reminded about a similar incident that happened here few days back :( A honest officer was killed and no one has the answers. It's always the honest ones that the people cant stand :(

  7. Heart wrenching. Sadly I can identify with this :(


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